Frantic Future Freak Outs

joey

It has come to my attention that I haven’t written a post in a little while; I wish I could say that it was because I was busy, but in between revision and lectures I’ve just been relaxing and having a good old existential crisis. So as you can probably tell by the above gif, I’m in my jammies and ready to bore the internet once again!.

Don’t worry, for once nothing’s actually wrong. It’s just starting to dawn on me that very soon university will be over, and all of the freedom that comes with it…unless I can’t get a job and decide to do a masters (for the sake of clarity, pretend I have more of my future planned- I promise you, it saves on stress).

Very soon I’ll be moving on, getting a job, and starting my “grown up” (still not ready to take that phrase out of inverted commas) life. This didn’t worry me too much until my mum mentioned mortgages last week and my heart just about stopped in my chest.

Mortgage- as in a place where I’ll settle down. I’m nowhere near settling down, I don’t think. I would love to travel around, live in different places (I would actually love to be a travel writer) but I have to be realistic. And it’s not that the jobs I’m applying to aren’t appealing to me- quite the opposite actually. I can see myself really enjoying them, maybe even finding my place in the world.

A big part of me is just unsettled because everything is suddenly becoming so permanent. Everything I’ve worked for and thought about and strived to achieve in the last ten or so years is happening at this very moment, and even though I long for a purpose, a weird part of me feel as if I need more time to be aimless. Even if that is also somehow the last thing I need.

Sorry for the odd post; hopefully anyone at a similar junction in their lives can relate.

Happy Dinosaur Day- don’t be scared, they’re basically giant birds. Having said that, geese are terrifying and owls are scary flying marshmallows so if you should happen upon a dinosaur, treat it as you would an owl or goose and run.

Have a great week guys; I’ll hopefully have a more upbeat post nearer my graduation. Until then, hit like or follow (or both, it’s a free country, unless you’re in America) and eat  some cake. I don’t care if you’ve done nothing to deserve cake, life is short, take pleasure in little things.

Lucy 🙂

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